Your manager can have the biggest impact on you, both personally and professionally.
Poor leaders foster a culture of uncertainty, leaving employees in a constant state of dread, anticipating unpredictable bad news. Great leaders, on the other hand, focus on transparency and keeping their teams informed through difficult times.
I’ve experienced both kinds of leadership, and I’ve mentored many professionals navigating these dynamics. This article will help you learn how to “manage up” and take control of your career, regardless of who your manager is.
Recognising the traits of a bad manager
As someone who has managed and mentored many PMMs, my philosophy is that I'm passionate about elevating and professionalizing product marketing.
If those I mentor, manage, or support excel beyond me, that's a reward in itself. As Leonardo da Vinci said, "Poor is the teacher whose student does not surpass him." However, not every manager has the same mindset, which can sometimes be detrimental to those they manage.
With this being said, let’s identify the types of bad managers and how to handle them.
1. The Hip Shooter
This is the classic “narcissistic” manager who’s completely unprepared to lead people. Often promoted due to the Peter Principle, they follow instructions robotically and obsess over process over outcomes.
Common traits:
- Lack of empathy: One PMM received a Friday 5 PM Teams message, “We need to talk,” with a 1:1 set for Monday. The manager later forgot what they wanted to discuss, ruining the employee’s weekend for nothing.
- Self-centeredness: They always volunteer themselves for high-profile trips and hoard opportunities.
- Shifting goalposts: Even when you deliver exactly what was asked, they change expectations retroactively.
- Micromanagement: They obsess over formatting (e.g., ®/™ symbols), delaying simple tasks by weeks.
- Overreactive to feedback: One manager wrongly reprimanded a team member based on a misunderstood comment from a peer, which wasn’t even a complaint.
- Comparisons: They pit employees against each other. During appraisals, they compare you to peers.
- Defensiveness and denial: One PMM was screamed at for simply asking about the work-from-home policy.
- Insecurity: They fear being “out of the loop” and resist delegation.
- Gaslighting: They use manipulation to make employees question their sanity – “You’re too sensitive,” “Are you sure that happened?”
Impact: These behaviours erode confidence. One mentee, once confident and capable, ended up doubting herself so much that she stopped giving 100%, knowing her work would just be rewritten.
How to manage the Hip Shooter:
- Exploit their bandwidth: CC them on everything until they ask you to stop.
- Over-communicate: Weekly emails – Monday (plans), Wednesday (roadblocks), Friday (updates).
- Clarify in writing: After meetings, send a summary email and state, “If I don’t hear back, I’ll assume I’m on the right track.”
- Push back on gaslighting: Ask for evidence of any “feedback” or challenge unfair claims.
- Call out emotional invalidation: If told “you’re too sensitive,” respond that feelings are valid and personal.
- Confront – if safe: Toxic managers hate confrontation. One PMM described their manager ending a meeting abruptly when their behaviour was challenged.
Charley Gale
2. The Owner/Founder manager
These leaders live and breathe the business. They expect the same commitment from everyone, often at the cost of personal boundaries.
Common traits:
- Sends harsh emails late at night or on weekends.
- Encourages a culture of gossip and surveillance.
- Disrespects personal time and micromanages logistics for convenience. E.g., one manager booked flights from Luton (convenient for him), extending a trip for their report without notice and disrupting the employee’s personal life.
How to manage the Owner/Founder:
- Set boundaries: Going above and beyond is fine occasionally, but not daily.
- Speak up: Many owner/founders lack self-awareness. Let them know what’s bothering you.
- Focus on their priorities: If their focus is H1 goals, don’t divert the conversation to office parties.
- Time your communications wisely: Learn to read their moods before making requests.
3. The “I Don’t Like Conflict” manager
These people-pleasers are often out of their depth. They avoid difficult conversations and cling to motivational clichés like “Don’t bring me problems, bring me solutions.”
Common traits:
- Avoid conflict to maintain popularity.
- Quote business books without applying them.
- Get distracted by shiny new hires.
- Have emotional outbursts in meetings without self-awareness.
How to manage them:
- Appeal to their ego: Ask how they resolved situations to flatter them into helping.
- Document everything: When conflict arises, show your efforts to resolve it and highlight how it affects project delivery.
- Use visual status updates: Create a weekly “traffic light” update system that they can share upwards.
- Call out outbursts gently: Say, “You seem upset – everything okay?” It encourages self-reflection and often leads to an apology.
Amit Alagh
Traits of a great manager
Now let’s talk about what good managers look like. These are the people who create an environment for growth and trust.
Common traits of great leaders:
- Personal connection: They remember details about your life and celebrate milestones.
- Clear expectations: They set goals and help eliminate roadblocks rather than micromanaging.
- Career development: They actively support your ambitions through courses, projects, or secondments.
- Respect for confidentiality: They don’t compare or gossip.
- Consistent 1:1s: These meetings are focused on you as a person, not just your tasks.
- Fairness: They hear both sides of a story before reacting.
- Respectful feedback: Praise in public, coach in private.
- Transparency: They’re honest about what they can or can’t share.
- Humility: They admit when they’re wrong and apologise – a rare but powerful trait.
- Empowering: They listen more than they speak, and amplify rather than gatekeep.
Ayelet Mechany
How can you support your manager?
The relationship goes both ways. Here’s how you can help build a better dynamic:
- Offer feedback: Great managers welcome it.
- Maintain professionalism: Especially at work-related social events.
- Don’t badmouth your manager or peers.
- Be proactive: Let them know if you're struggling.
- Speak your goals: They’re not mind readers. If you want a promotion or a new role, say it.
- Provide heads-up: If you see a “storm” coming, help them prepare.
- Don’t embarrass them: If you’ve broken protocol (e.g., overspending), tell them before finance does.
Evaluating managers during job interviews
When exploring your career trajectory, it’s important to consider what you consider a “good manager” in the wish list of your next role. Some professionals would rather have a great leader than a high salary.
Questions to ask in your interview:
- What’s your management style?
- How often do you meet with your team?
- How do you like to be communicated with?
- How would your direct reports describe you?
- What’s the turnover been like on your team?
- How can your future report support you?
Amelia Wilson
Final thoughts
Overall, a large part of a great employee/manager relationship involves looking inward – assessing your strengths, acknowledging areas for growth, and being honest about where you stand.
This self-awareness not only builds trust but also empowers more meaningful conversations with your manager.
Together, you can use these insights to create a tailored professional development plan that supports your long-term goals while aligning with the team's broader objectives.
When both parties are invested in growth and communication, the relationship becomes a powerful driver of success.
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